WATCHING LOG

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Holymanm
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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Mon Feb 19, 2018 8:54 pm

February 9th - The Sky-Colored Seed (Hayao Miyazaki, Yoshifumi Kondo, 1992)

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More fantastic art and "truth about life" in a crummy little 90 second movie made out of paper than most directors have in a career... it is devastating that Kondo didn't get to make more movies - but wonderful that at least Miyazaki did!
5/5

February 10th - A Moment to Remember (John H. Lee, 2004)

very moving k-melodrama... not sure what i didn't like more about it. bit humdrum in ways or something. just didn't do it somehow. but... moving!
3/5

February 10th - Tomorrow's Sun (Nagisa Ōshima, 1959)

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What an utterly and wonderfully bizarre flick!! A 6-minute advertisement for some movie studio for all of their young "star" actors who will soon be featured in movies coming to a theatre near you - and it's just an excuse for Ōshima to play around with colourful sets and fresh young faces in fantastical situations the whole time. Random funny looking actor over here! Another over here! Ha-ha! Yoooooshi!
3.5/5

February 10th - She and Her Cat (Makoto Shinkai, 1999) - 2/5

February 11th - The Green Beautiful (Coline Serreau, 1996) - 0/5

Good things about this movie:

- how absurdly pretty Marion Cotillard is (this positive is somewhat negated by her beauty causing her character to be abducted to another planet by one of the two insufferable idiot twins, but nonetheless, very pretty!)

Le mal:

1. Bad:

This is debatably one of the worst movies ever made, but it is almost certainly the smuggest, and without question the smarmiest. I squirmed like a cat rolling on its back tripping on acid while watching this; FUCK it was smarmy! It made me feel dirty, dirty, dirty. All of the "irony", all of the grotesque straw man setups to make humans and human progress look bad and evil and demented. People yell when someone crashes into their car, ergo all of human civilisation is folly and must be abandoned. Babies must be milked telepathically for ostensibly mutual physical sustenance. Trees must be thanked. What is this movie even trying to say? All technology is evil? But this movie was made with technology, and in the BS utopia of insufferable cavemen flipping around and laughing about how advanced they are this movie couldn't even be seen. Huh? And for that matter, there is the issue of the lipstick... but more on that later. This movie is unconscionable merde and very nearly a war crime!!

2. Hated:

This is one of my most hated movies of all time, and it is just absolutely offensive and insidiously disgusting in its ideological assault. It's very likely the most openly fascistic movie I've ever seen, and I am DISTURBED by the thought of people seeing it and thinking "fuck yeah!" Its fundamental message is simple: we're right, others are wrong, and we will do anything it takes to defeat and destroy them. The running joke throughout the movie is that it is justified to mind-rape and brainwash bad people for their politics (and it briefly mentions a civil war on 'the green planet' which apparently culminated in a genocide against all people who engaged in some of the more, or even mildly, unsavoury aspects of industrialisation). Have these people read 1984? Arendt on Totalitarianism? Any history? DON'T MIND-RAPE PEOPLE! It's not nice and eventually you wind up with a creepy all-white society of dipshit hippies who go around violently spreading their propaganda to unsuspecting victims on other planets.

Oh yes, and the issue of the lipstick... The movie (at least through the happy-go-lucky protagonist) mocks and bewilders one poor woman for... wearing... lipstick. "Are you wearing it to make people love you?" she asks. The women stammers and gives a nonplussed "well I'd never thought of it that way and I am awed by your wisdom in pointing out our hypocrisy" look, and the scene moves on.

Later on in the movie, the insufferable idiot twins see mmes. Cotillard & sister and immediately fall in love with them... because... they're beautiful. ...Ho hum. Anyway, this point falls under both 1. Bad and 2. Hated. 1. It's bad because it's just stupid hypocrisy, dreary juvenilia masquerading as serious philosophical critique of society. Don't mock people for trying to look beautiful and then show how it's good to look beautiful! But - and pardon me if I'm making a bit of a stretch with this second point - 2. I hate it because it is still more evil fascism! In this case, our old friend, master-race ideology. What is the message? That either you are born beautiful, one of the (literally) chosen people, and you get to go join the superior race in the utopia -- or else you are born unbeautiful (if not ugly), and you are not permitted to try to beautify yourself because you are simply not a superior individual. Remain at your station, missy! No makeup for you! (And it doesn't matter that the people in the utopia aren't necessarily attractive; totalitarianists frequently tout beauty and strength and intelligence and such while overlooking their own shortcomings...)

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The Hitlerjugend frolic in a tribe-affirming ritual

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The tribe congregates as one mind - dissenters will be sent to reeducation camp

Yeah I did not like this movie...
0/5

February 11th - Fear Strikes Out (Robert Mulligan, 1957) (3rd viewing?)

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woo! very happy that one of my old favourite flicks from when i was 15 or so is still a stone cold killer. some may call it "hokey" or "a naive old timey movie" but what can you do? it has baseball and tony perkins
5/5

February 12th - Loving Vincent (Dorota Kobiela, Hugh Welchman, 2017)

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pretty cool for being a completely painted movie and all, and a compelling enough tale, but still ultimately done in by just being humdrum mainstream narrative stuff. a shame because it was pretty cool!! but my memory of its being pretty cool is ultimately done in by my memory of how that song during the end credits was the most awful song i've ever heard in my life, holy shit
3/5

February 13th - My Darling Clementine (John Ford, 1946) - 3/5

February 13th - Mr. Vampire (Ricky Lau, 1985) - (2nd viewing)

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what a delightful flick! so many great moments! comedy brilliance, like blake edwards and chang cheh doing some fine, fine drugs together. i have absolutely no idea why this isn't considered a classic HKKFF....
4/5

February 14th - Human Behavioural Case Studies. Series One. (Adam Elliot, 1996) - 3/5

February 14th - Ernie Biscuit (Adam Elliot, 2015)

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so happy mr. elliot is still (?) making great flicks! maybe his best yet! inexplicably and absurdly touching O__O
4/5

February 14th - Sawdust and Tinsel (Ingmar Bergman, 1953)

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not sure how a movie with harriet andersson half naked for half the movie can be so boring... but such is life! strangely like a poor man's fellini flick. the most boring and directionless bergman i've yet seen. but... not the worst one i guess
3/5

February 15th - Jingle All the Way (Brian Levant, 1996)

this movie was suspiciously better than it should've been... very suspicious -_-
3/5

February 16th - The Harder They Come (Perry Henzell, 1972) - 3.5/5 (2nd viewing)

February 16th - The Steamroller and the Violin (Andrei Tarkovsky, 1961)

I sort of wish AT had stuck to making his semi-social-realism commie propaganda movies... such talent for them! And then he probably wouldn't have died from Stalker poisoning. Anyway, this movie was super pretty, especially in the new HD rip! Vladimir Zamanskiy's noble USSR people's worker's eyes pop and sparkle!
3.5/5

February 17th - How High (Jesse Dylan, 2001) - 3/5 (2nd viewing?)

February 18th - Early Man (Nick Park, 2018) - 3.5/5

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Yeah! Great fun, very wild and imaginative stuff. Way better than Chicken Run or really anything Nicky Parky has done since The Wrong Trousers. Hopefully he'll continue! Only qualm with this is I do not feel it does the child-adult audience balance very well. Too childish for adultie wulties (mainly with the godawful, soul-sucking, horripilatingly antiseptic songs chosen for it!!) and maybe too violent and terrifying for the kiddies. Maybe. Anyway, I greatly enjoyed the dozens of great puns in this movie (which those damn kids probably don't get either)
3.5/5

February 18th - Wagon Master (John Ford, 1950)

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Cool! I feel like this movie is what people are talking about when they always rave about Ford... but everyone raves about every Ford movie ever, so I guess I just don't get it. But this movie had a good balance of horses, pretty women, hypocritical religious people, and KAPOW gun fights that start out of nowhere and end in 20 seconds. I guess that's a signature Ford thing?

Or: saw this at the Cine Doré with Spanish subtitles and a caravan's worth of elderly Spaniards. I wonder if they liked the Chuckawalla Swing??
4/5

February 18th - House Party (Reginald Hudlin, 1990)

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0.80 for Robin Harris, 0.75 for the groovy dance scenes, -0.005 for every time Kid asks someone a question and then looks at them bug-eyed while awaiting a response
1.5/5

February 19th - The Night of the Hunter (Charles Laughton, 1955)

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Never seen such a bizarrely "schizophrenic" movie in my life!! One minute it's a shit-eatingly hokey old timey mainstream movie dripping with children running through valleys and the type of music that makes your upper lip and nose stick together in disgust and dismay, and the next it's a flat-out gorgeous, romantic, otherworldly journey through the Styx of the Hades of the South, replete with completely different music and quiet, melancholy, ancient-looking scenes and songs... one minute it's corny preaching and moralising about the children, and the next it's richly sinister demolition of self-righteous old people, outdated morality, and religious institutions...

And one may argue that the former, in each case (or at least the latter) may be designed to set up, and complement, the latter, but it seems more like it's just bad movie-making - like one or more of the creative forces behind the movie were brilliant, and one or more were friggin troglodytes - and it still unfortunately sabotages the 'hack out of the movie in the end. Like the kindly old lady smacking that young baw with the hemp rope, that first half was straight wick-wick-wack!

But it still gets a 4/5?! Yes, because that whole escape interlude was *out of this world*! Good golly! If the whole movie were that good it'd be way up on my top list. But as it is it's just a totally badass premise, a bunch of corn syrup crap, and a bunch of total gold... Also, it's curious how much this movie foreshadowed a) Undertow, and b) You Were Never Really Here. Hmmm.

Other highlights: what a performance by young Billy Boy Chapin! I'm really surprised he apparently did not go on to great things after this; he was a total stud. One of the great child actor performances in a conventional role I've ever seen out of a flick! And in an old Hollywood movie, too, which is usually a recipe for a performance cornier 'n' ma's cornbread!

Other lowlights: after seeing the little girl in this, I never want to have children...
3.5/5



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Leopold » Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:23 pm

i am against cats taking lsd.


dans ce monde inhabitable
vaut mieux danser sur les tables
à Port Coton qu’on se revoit,
qu’on se revoit


MY FAVORITE FILMS

Dreams are the aquarium of the night.

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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Leopold » Mon Feb 19, 2018 9:26 pm

that much passion and invective just makes me curious!


dans ce monde inhabitable
vaut mieux danser sur les tables
à Port Coton qu’on se revoit,
qu’on se revoit


MY FAVORITE FILMS

Dreams are the aquarium of the night.

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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Tue Feb 20, 2018 11:37 am

it might be worth watching as an unintentional self-expose of bad good intentions run amok... it's like a cinematic distillation of the jump from lenin to mao



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Thu Mar 01, 2018 3:04 pm

February 20th - Ernest Goes to Camp (John R. Cherry III, 1987) (3rd viewing?)

not sure there's ever been a greater running gag than the unmanned cart periodically drifting by a scene
2.5/5

February 21st - Cousin (Adam Elliot, 1998) - 4/5 (3rd viewing)

February 22nd - Spider-Man: Homecoming (Jon Watts, 2017)

ultimate spider-man was so good... in every single way in which this was not. this was more soulless mcu crap, all the striking diversity notwithstanding
1/5

February 23rd - Ernest Saves Christmas (John R. Cherry III, 1988) - 1.5/5
February 24th - Ernest Goes to Jail (John R. Cherry, 1990) - 2.5/5

February 25th - Brief Encounter (David Lean, 1945)


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this is one of those old movies where everything looks like a bit of a cliche (not necessarily in a bad way) but if you think about it you'll realise it was probably strikingly modern at the time... anyway, this was pretty lukewarm for the first hour or so, but BOY did it take off after that! zoom, right to the heart! loved this in the end
4/5

February 26th - Chocolate (Prachya Pinkaew, 2008)

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90% of all the "movie-making" aspects of this were.... not good. Very.... student film. Elementary school student film. But the martial arts in this movie !!! Not even "brutal" or "kick-ass" or anything like that, but rather just... the perfect expression of the full potential of the beautiful human body ^__^ just absolutely inspiring, seeing what the human body is capable of. Gorgeous!! Heart-warming! The best antidote yet to existential despair can be found right in this Muay Thai movie, when you see all of the luminescent atoms and molecules of that girl crash and coruscate around as she twists and contorts her beautiful, ephemeral frame to kick and knee and elbow people in the skull... just a religious experience!

(Also why was Abe Hiroshi in this movie????)
4/5

February 27th - Sleepwalk (Sara Driver, 1986)

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This seemed like a low budget Carpenter movie (in particular, In the Mouth of Madness)... and the only thing I like about Carpenter is some of the nice production values his movies sometimes have. I got nothing from this flick. It seems like the sort of thing you can only possibly take seriously if you're into the NYC indie art scene, but apparently everyone likes it, so whaddo I know? It did not do it for me; this movie is just so many things I find completely dull and uninteresting in artsy movies. I GET that it's surrealistic. But it being dream-like doesn't mean that the annoying redhead character being annoying for 30 minutes of the flick isn't still annoying, or that any of the rest of the boring annoyingness isn't boringly annoying, or that hearing about strangers' dreams and dream-logic is interesting... or that the unexceptional acting, characters, writing, photography, and everything else in this flick is suddenly good. But it's all subjective, and good doesn't exist, so I'm not really saying anything for real here

Anyway, all the "surreal" scenes with the children acting, like, weird, were bad enough, but I just couldn't possibly take this movie seriously for one single second after the "surreal" scene around 20 minutes in where a staid businessman turns around and barks at the protagonist on the street. Bark bark. It was OVER after that scene! Finished! There's no coming back from that shit!!
1/5

February 27th - Wallace & Gromit in The Wrong Trousers (Nick Park, 1993) (4th viewing?)

childhood fav (half because of the hilarious movie title) that just gets better every time!!
4.5/5

February 28th - The Great Silence (Sergio Corbucci, 1968)

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So apparently this isn't a B-movie, nor an exploitation flick - but rather a "revisionist Western". Well if revisionist Western means hella corny writing and directing (see: wavy flashback scenes prompted by a character looking at a candle, and almost every line of dialogue in the movie), plentiful bad acting (and especially dubbing), copious amounts of gore and fake blood, and just almost nothing smart or interesting in the whole flick outside of the super pretty snow (which was maybe a tiny bit ruined by the bad film print, plus the constant fake blood splattered in it)... then what on earth are B-movies or exploitation flicks?

And who on earth is the message of this movie for? Vigilantes who think it's okay to kill people suspected of committing crimes? (The Punisher?) People who think the law is absolute and must never be questioned? (Hobbes?)

+1 for J-L Trintignant
+1 for K Kinski
+0.5 for snow
-1 for that long close-up scene of the guy eating greasy chicken and blowing his nose
1.5/5



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Sat Jun 23, 2018 4:19 pm

March 2018

March 2nd - Walkabout (Nicolas Roeg, 1971) (2nd viewing)

down from 5/5 the first viewing... what happened?
4/5

March 3rd - Steve Jobs (Aaron Sorkin, 2015)

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This was pretty well done and all, but as longtime readers of my radio podcast will know, one of my biggest pet peeves in movies is American flicks about ambitious alpha male men pursuing wealth and fame and you're expected to.... relate to them. To cheer them on. Or at least to care about what's happening in any way? I do not care about movies with tense CEO vs shareholder meetings where you're frustrated that the shareholders don't hold the CEO's vision!! Gah! So that lowered my enjoyment quite a bit. Other than that, this was basically just the same movie as The Social Network, though a bit worse and not as well directed. But I do love Fassbender...

Also how come only like three people looked any different in that big jump forward to 1998, and no one else did, and they even looked like they had the same clothes and hair...? Huh?

(That shot I chose for the screenshot is one of the worst shots I've ever seen in a movie)
2/5

March 3rd - Good Work (Claire Denis, 1999)

did not like billy budd at all... or this, much. i feel like 'most all of the appeal of this is in the visuals, the 'lingering camera', the je ne sais quoi or whatnot - other than that, yeah, the guy is repressed and victimising the poor other guy, i get it! maybe this would be better and less boring on the big screen, though. but i don't like contemporary art, and i didn't really see how this said anything about masculinity (other than making me want to go to the gym more), so i guess i didn't really get this, or it wasn't for me. i feel like i would've liked it way more when i was 16, though, and i sort of wish i'd watched it then!
1.5/5

March 7th - Spellbound (Alfred Hitchcock, 1945) - 3.5/5
March 13th - Song of the Horse (Akira Kurosawa, 1970) - 3/5
March 14th - The Pride of the Yankees (Sam Wood, 1942) - 5/5 (2nd viewing)

March 24th - When Marnie Was There (Hiromasa Yonebayashi, 2014) - 5/5 (3rd viewing)


watched this with only spanish subtitles and still understood all of it! hurrah! breakthrough! of course i'd seen it twice already, but still... still real cool to see this in a 100 year old spanish theatre (and good golly is it ever good! [golly!])
5/5

March 26th - Annihilation (Alex Garland, 2018)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mt9saLvYzcQ

Natalie: "It was making something new."

*Hazmat guy stares blankly at her for 3 seconds*

Hazmat guy: "Making what?"

*camera slowly zooms in on NP's face as she finally looks up at the man and reveals:*

Natalie: "I don't know."

...

*Hazmat guy stares blankly at her for 5 seconds*




hella booty flick if ever i've seen one. maybe even worse than ex machina - at least that one had alicia vikander in it. this garland cat makes movies that are S.E.R.I.O.U.S.!!!!!! this is one EXTREMELY serious movie. sex scene? serious! JJ Leigh sitting around looking out of place and saying dumb shit? serious! people getting eaten by CGI critters? serious! this movie is NOT fucking around. it WANTS to win all the art awards and be seen as a serious art movie for thinkers, and thus it does not have jokes or levity or any of the characters realising when another is acting like an inanimate wooden board from movie land with lines (dumb lines) fed into it.

if there's one thing about this movie, it's that everything in it is really light in tone-- wait, no, i meant to say that everything in it is serious*!!! can't believe i fucked that one up. not as badly as this booty flick fucked up tarkovsky, sci-fi, and my 2 hours, though.
1/5

March 27th - Black Panther (Ryan Coogler, 2018)

hell yeah i drank the kool-aid!!
4/5

March 27th - Anomalisa (Duke Johnson, Charlie Kaufman, 2015)

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super original and creative for people who could've just watched NGE or something, but can't, because cartoons are for children... and very entertaining for people who like watching "awkward" people mumble to themselves about how silly they are for 90 minutes. honestly, i would even go so far as to say that each of the 90 minutes of this was annoying and unpleasant. thus, i have hated the movie an IMPRESSIVE amount, and you are free to donate an appropriate amount to my patreon if you are impressed
0.5/5

March 28th - Cemetery Man (Michele Soavi, 1994)

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what kind of a depraved lunatic makes a movie like this???
3.5/5

March 29th - The Story of the Weeping Camel (Byambasuren Davaa, Luigi Falorni) - 3/5



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Sat Jun 23, 2018 4:30 pm

April 2018

April 1st - The Ladies Man (Jerry Lewis, 1961)

lots of bright colours and dollhouse set design in this, but... the main joke in the movie is that there's a pet in the house called "baby" but then it may or may not be a big, dangerous lion, and jerry then says "baby" with a worried expression about 30 times for the rest of the movie. not one of his finest vehicles!!!
1.5/5

April 5th - A Grand Day Out with Wallace and Gromit (Nick Park, 1989) - 3.5/5 (2nd viewing?)

April 10th - God's Not Dead (Harold Cronk, 2014)

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This movie is... not how philosophy classes work...........

But - though maybe I'm just getting inured to terrible movies - it's really not as bad as everyone says. I mean it's *at least* better than Heaven Is For Real. And that's saying something!
1.5/5

April 12th - Lady Bird (Greta Gerwig, 2017)

really easy to watch, not exciting or new. except for all the jesus; never seen a movie set in a catholic school before. it wasn't bad though... this score is including minus at least 0.5, maybe -1, for how much that precious little cut-to-black in the last second pissed me off. why can't new "indie" movies just have normal cut-to-credit scenes? why do they have to be precious and showcasing the shambolic nature of life and such? god! jesus!
2.5/5

April 16th - The Lair of the White Worm (Ken Russell, 1988)

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when a flick gushing like a split snake with this much creativity, imagery, and overall joie de vivre et mourir as this one is widely seen as a "bad movie"... well... i don't really have a point to make here, i don't care if people like movies or not. anyway, i would never hoy kenny russell doon a well!!
4/5

April 17th - God's Not Dead 2 (Harold Cronk, 2016) - 1/5

April 21st - Ladyhawke (Richard Donner, 1985)

the accents and acting in this are bad, and everyone in it has an annoying name, "because it's camp"... i c
1.5/5



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by Holymanm » Sat Jun 23, 2018 4:40 pm

May 2018

May 6th - Six O'Clock News (Ross McElwee, 1996) - 2/5

May 8th - Isle of Dogs (Wes Anderson, 2018)

If this movie were a dog it'd be called "Precious"........ ("a bunch of boring old Japanese stereotypes shown in a cutesy way in an American movie" is a HORRIBLE dog name)
2/5

May 9th - Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! (Pedro Almodóvar, 1990)

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Yes, the fact the colours are super saturated in this makes up for 2 hours of Antonio punching and raping a woman, and the just incredibly insipid sexploitation tripe throughout... you see, Spain was still recovering from the Franco era, and now movies were free to show things like alternative lifestyles, and sexuality! Dios mío! How shocking, the ***sexual politics*** in this! Marvellous! Fresh! What a new voice in cinema! -_-;

I suppose people see this as a satire of "normal" relationships, or an exploration of Stockholm-type sex and love, or... something... but for me it's just a hella tedious movie wherein someone does something unpleasant, but he *knows* it's unpleasant and makes a pithy comment almost-to-the-camera about it, so yeah the movie is artistic and reflexive and smart ^_^
0.5/5

May 20th - My Child, a Stranger (Shunji Iwai, 1991) - 2.5/5
May 21st - Punch-Drunk Love (Paul Thomas Anderson, 2002) - 3/5

May 28th - Borg vs McEnroe (Janus Metz, 2017)


Would've been a lot better without the schmaltzy faux-arthouse aesthetic, and more McE exposition, and not having that scene where they literally stop the movie to explain to the audience what a tiebreak is (??????)... but I really liked the basic point about how if you don't play sports at a high level then you don't know what it's like and you're not allowed to talk about it, that was done really well!
3/5

May 31st - Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (Martin McDonagh, 2017)

like the worst parts of the coens and the worst parts of tarantino rolled into one... just total trash and i don't see the appeal >_>
1/5

May 31st - Baba Joon (Yuval Delshad, 2015)

seems like one of those movies that goes into festivals because it's a plain, boring movie with completely predictable [everything], but... it's foreign :0
1.5/5



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by johnnyutah » Sun Jun 24, 2018 11:42 am

cemetery man is dope



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Re: WATCHING LOG

Post by johnnyutah » Fri Sep 07, 2018 9:13 am

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